Welcome, Fabulous Creator!

Let’s talk about dating. Or, as I like to call it, the intentional deployment of your emotional Spanx.

You know the drill. You log on, or you walk into a crowded room, and immediately the Default You throws up a protective barrier: The Mask. It’s the carefully curated version of yourself—successful, effortlessly cool, always fine, and only displaying the most aspirational lie of perfection. We hide the messy truths, the deep desires, and the wonderfully weird parts that make us us. Why? Because dating feels scary, and we’re convinced that if we show the full, glorious truth, we’ll be rejected.

We walk around trying to be palatable, polite, and perfectly polished, and let me tell you, that is exhausting! You're spending all your magnificent energy performing a role instead of simply being the spectacular human you already are.

The Tantric Truth: Your Mess is Your Magnetism

Now, here’s where we bring in a little Tantric truth—and yes, I’m biting my lip to keep this clean, but trust me, this is the good stuff.

The core principle of energy work (often explored in Tantra) is about expansion and non-judgmental awareness. It teaches that your life force energy (your inherent power, joy, and vitality) is magnetic. The moment you contract, judge yourself, or try to hide a part of your being—that energy flow stagnates.

The Mask is energy stagnation, darling! You’re suppressing the very light that's supposed to attract your person.

Why would you want to attract someone who falls in love with the carefully airbrushed version of you? You are not a marketing campaign! The right person isn't looking for a perfect statue; they’re looking for a full, messy, magnetic human. They’re looking for the whole damn marching band, not just the perfectly tuned flute.

Freedom in dating isn't found by getting a good partner; it’s found by showing up as your fully uninhibited self, regardless of the outcome.

Unmasking: Three Fabulous Steps to Dating in Facts

If we're going to create connections based on authenticity, we have to start mapping our energy and letting go of the performance anxiety. This is your personal unmasking ceremony:

1. Ditch the Emotional Spanx

The mask is just emotional Spanx—it holds everything in, but eventually, you can't breathe, and it creates more anxiety than it solves. Instead of asking, "What does this person want me to be?" ask: "What am I truly feeling and needing right now?" If you're nervous, state it simply: "I'm having a great time, but I'm a little nervous." Authenticity is instantly disarming and magnetic. The truth, darling, is a much better flirt than the facade.

2. Date from Facts, Not Fairy Tales

The scary part of dating is the drama we attach to simple facts. We have to treat dating experiences as neutral data points.

• Drama Story: "They didn't text back for 48 hours. I must have said the wrong thing. I am fundamentally unlovable."

• Neutral Fact: "They did not send a text message within 48 hours."

The fact is neutral. The drama is draining. By choosing facts, you free up your mental energy from agonizing over fictional scenarios and keep your focus where it belongs: on your magnificent, unshakeable self.

3. Map Your Own Bliss First (The Self-Sovereignty Check)

This is the most crucial step. Before you seek validation or connection from an external source, you must ensure your inner cup is overflowing. Your energy needs to be directed inward first. This is called Pleasure Mapping—the intentional practice of cultivating high-frequency energy in yourself.

Action: Go on a date with yourself today. Notice the pleasure in simple things: the taste of your coffee, the feeling of the sun on your skin, or the music you love. When you show up to a date feeling full, grounded, and deeply satisfied by your own presence, you transmit an energy that is undeniable. You are dating from a place of sovereignty ("I'm great already") rather than scarcity ("I need you to complete me").

Your most valuable asset in dating isn't your resume or your filtered photos; it's the raw, uninhibited energy of your true self. The Fabulous Creator is magnetic because they have nothing to hide.

Go out there and be your full, glorious self. Anything less is uncivilized.

Know that you are loved!

🧡🧚‍♂️🧡